Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Control Freak? - Guilty as charged

Well, I'm so excited. I'm leaving this Friday, driving to Savannah, Georgia to visit my best friend, Teena. She and her husband moved there a few months ago. I've missed her so much and it will be so good to see her and her new house. This will be my first get-a-way alone since having the two children. Everyone has asked me . . . "do you think you will worry about them the whole time?" Well, if you can believe it, I've already began to worry. Let me explain . . . I'm not worried about their well being. I know that my husband and my mother are perfectly capable of caring for them. But, I guess what is worrying me is that no one will take care of them the way that I do. I know . . . crazy, huh? What a silly thing to worry about. But, I do. And I shouldn't! Most people who know me seem to think I have a small, extremely tiny issue with control. Ok . . . maybe I'm not being totally truthful here . . . I may or may not have been described as a "control freak". Teena (best friend), please feel free not to comment as I am referencing you as one of those people who may or may not have called me that!

My control issues extend far past my children. I'm not sure when or how I picked up this nasty habit. For example: I must put the toilet paper roll on the holder the same way every time. I actually tried changing it up once (my husband likes the roll to face the opposite direction of the way I put it on there), but I found myself coming back in there not two minutes later to change it back. Folding towels . . . simple enough, right? Well, only if the tags are tucked inside the fold and the embroidery is facing out. I even find myself going into the linen closet after my husband has folded towels -- and I refold them. Not in front of him, because I don't want him to think that I don't appreciate his work. But to my strange eyes, it looks like it needs to be done. Don't worry, I don't force this silliness onto him. If you he puts the toilet paper roll on the holder, I don't correct him. My mother has commented that I really just end up making more work for myself most of the time. And I would have to say that's probably true. But I'm not always strong enough to stop the urges.

Anyway, I tell you all of this because it is one of the stumbling blocks in my life. Many times, God has brought me to places where I had no control whatsoever. And it just about drove me crazy. But through those situations, I learned to trust him. And when I surrendered and let God lead, he brought me out safe and sound on the other side. Can you believe it . . . he didn't need my help! So, I'm not a control freak all of the time. And I'm praying about it. Praying that the Lord will help me to remember to surrender to him and his will. And that rather than worrying myself with these trivial things like someone taking care of my children the exact way that I would -- I need to be thankful that I have a husband and mother who love those children so very much. And be thankful that they are willing to care for them so that I may go away for a weekend to see my very best friend!

Thank you Lord for reminding me that you are in control.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6&7 NIV


At A Hen's Pace said...

I've found that sharing the parenting duties with my husband--who does not do things my way--and delegating household chores to my children--who do not do things my way either--have broken the back of the control freak in me. God has certainly used those circumstances to teach me to trust him and have more grace for others--and myself!

That CF still keeps rearing its ugly head though, if I don't keep submitting my will to God's, though--as you so eloquently described. What a great post.

Have a wonderful weekend with your friend! How cool that my brother is sending you off for some girlfriend time. Thumbs up from his big sister. Way to take care of the wife!



Mom said...

Thanks for reading my blog Jeanne. I've always appreciated your sound advice! Just reiterates #34 on my "Things about Me" post.