Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Seeing the eternal

My Dad had a heart attack a year and a half ago. It was a shock to all of us. He's the picture of perfect health. Running here and there, doing all sorts of things for everyone - the man never stopped. He barely slept. He's the kind of person that took care of others needs and never his own. Subsequently, he ended up having quadruple bypass surgery. Turns out, we've got bad genes.

Just a few weeks ago, he had a stress test and the doctor saw something on the results that he felt needed to be looked at. So, he scheduled my Dad for a heart cath.

Yesterday was the dreaded day for the heart cath. Short version -- a heart cath is a procedure doctors use to look inside and around the heart. We were definitely nervous -- it's a little risky anytime doctors stop poking around the heart of anyone with previous heart problems. What's worse was that they may find something that needed to be repaired. If so, they would pause the procedure, talk to us about it, and then take him directly into heart surgery -- which again, is pretty risky for someone with heart issues.

As we sat in the waiting room on the edge of our seats, I recalled a passage that I had read in my study just nights before:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NKJV

I'm ashamed to admit this, but in the past, I've been afraid to pray for God's will when it comes to sick family members. I've been so afraid that God's will might be to take someone from my life, that I just don't pray for it. God has been dealing with me on this issue. And when I remembered this verse, sitting in the waiting room, it was like a light bulb lit up above my head. I'm a christian. I've been a christian for most of my life. But somehow, I didn't get it until now. This body is temporary. This life he has given us is temporary. Our struggles here on this earth, though they may not seem like it, are temporary. But, the rewards are eternal for those of us who have confessed Jesus Christ as our personal savior.

Yesterday, was the first time I prayed for God's will for my Dad and his heart. I prayed God's will be done and that he give me strength to accept whatever that may be. And he did. My Dad's heart cath turned out fine. There is one bypass that they'll continue to watch and eventually, he may need an additional stint due to some build up.

Praise Jesus! Thank you Lord for the life of my Dad. Thank you Lord, that even though my time on earth with him may be temporary -- you, Lord have promised me eternity.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Preschool . . . to attend or not to attend, that is the question!

Well, a few months ago, I enrolled Maddy1 in a preschool sponsored by my Grandmother's church. She is scheduled to start attending this fall - sometime in September. She'll be 2 years old September 10th. Originally, I enrolled her because my days were extremely tough. For those of you who don't know me, let me explain . . . my husband is a pilot who is gone from our home anywhere from 15 to 19 days out of the month - I have two children under the age of 2 - we have a beach condo rental that I manage (answer email inquiries, phone inquiries, collect deposits & rent, schedule cleanings, inventory items in the unit, bookkeeping, etc) - I attend college online --- life at home is tough. I find it hard to juggle everything all of the time. I guess a lot of that "hard to juggle" attitude is because I want to be the "best" at everything. My husband will attest . . . it's hard to give me constructive criticism without me feeling bad about the job that I'm doing. However, I understand this about myself and I'm working on it.

Anyway -- preschool. Yes, I enrolled her into preschool because I thought it would definitely make things easier at home. This preschool is certified by the State of Florida as far as making sure the children are kindergarten ready. So I thought that she could benefit from learning to play with other kids and learning skills that will help her begin real school. BUT . . . here's the kicker--- I now find myself wanting to cancel her enrollment and keep her at home with me and Baby Lulu. Am I being silly? It's just, she's start to communicate so well. I've finally found my groove with the two girls and we really enjoy playing. It's such a milestone to speak to Maddy1 and see that she completely understands what I'm saying to her. It's the neatest thing. Now, I'm not saying she can hold conversations yet. In fact, my cousins son, who is one month older than Maddy1, is already counting to ten in English and Spanish. I'm lucky if I get "1,2,3!" out of Maddy1. And there's the pressure. The pressure of feeling like maybe someone else might be able to teach her more?! Maybe I'm not doing enough. Should I be sitting with her on the floor making her learn? I don't know -- I don't want to get caught up in that game of whose kid knows more. I'm happy with who she is. I don't need her to speak Spanish. I'm confident that Maddy1 is very sharp. But, she does everything in her own time and in her own way. There's no forcing her into anything. She's independent - has been since day one. That trait will be so great for her as she grows older.

So, tell me this, am I depriving her of anything by not sending her to preschool? Is it ok that she doesn't know how to count to ten?