Saturday, March 29, 2008

An apology to my dear husband

Why is it that the things that we hold most dearly in our hearts are the things that we hold most loosely in our hands? Wouldn't you think we would have learned this lesson by now? You know, to hold on tight and never take anything or anyone for granted?

I think back to yesterday. I was all in a tizzy because I had an appointment to meet with the CPA. I hurriedly dropped my husband off at the airport for his week long trip, gave him a rushed kiss goodbye and an "I love you" he could barely understand, and off I went to the appointment. As I drove there, a million "to do's" ran through my mind. Never once did I think that in the blink of an eye, that rushed kiss could be the last time my lips ever touch my husband's lips. Or that mumbled "I love you" might be the last thing I ever get to say to him.

But, the thought crossed my mind last night . . . and I was sad. And ashamed. Because anyone who knows me knows that losing my husband would be the most devastating thing in the world to me. In fact, it's hard for my little brain to comprehend how I could function and keep living my life without him. I know that my Lord Jesus Christ would somehow carry me through . . . but it just seems impossible. I guess what I'm saying is the goodbye I gave him yesterday (and I ashamed to say several other times) was/is not at all representative of my love for him. And it should be. That kiss should be a kiss that carries him through the whole week and makes him look forward to coming home. And that I love you should ring so clear that it echoes in his heart and mind until he's back with us again.

Hubby, I love you very much and so appreciate all that you do for me and our family. I'm sorry for not giving you the attention that you deserve. I look forward to the day when I can wrap my arms around you again. Ok, if my parents or my in-laws and reading this, close your eyes ---- XXXOOO (I mean, who wants your parents or his to see you kiss right?)

1 comment:

Anna K. said...

Some people go years and never come to the realization that you have. So go for it and give that man all the big kisses he can stand! I'll close my eyes.....