Monday, November 19, 2007

One, maybe two, possibly three, what do you think about four? Part II

This is the second post in a series. You can read the first post here.

"R, you need to sit down. I have something to tell you . . ."

And there we sat, for the next hour. I poured out my heart and told him everything! No need to paint a rosy picture -- I just gave it to him straight. Basically, there's no hope. And what little itty bitty hope that I have, is quickly fading as my years roll by me at lightening speed.

So, I finished the conversation, fully expecting him to be in total utter shock. And then, when he regained consciousness, he would realize that he's wasting his time and effort with me -- a lost cause. Move on, count it as a loss and try to find something better before his time ran out. I mean, face it, I'm 10 years his junior. He's no spring chicken. He didn't have a lot of time to waste either.

But, would you believe that after he had a couple of moments to process all that I had just said, his main point of contention was that he was upset that I had not called him to let him know that I was at the emergency room the whole day. He said that I should not have sat there by myself. He could and would have come to accompany me. But, he was upset that he wasn't even given the chance. He felt like he was "cut out" of the whole situation. And that, was the major issue. In fact, he said dealing with the possibility of not having children was easier than dealing with the fact that I shut him out. Our relationship was what was losing hope. If I couldn't be straight forward and completely open and honest, well then, we couldn't move forward.

And I understood what he was saying. I completely understood that, if the table was turned, I would have been upset if he had not showed some common courtesy and told me what was going on.

So, I apologized. And apologized. And apologized. And promised never to do that again. And assured him that he knew EVERYTHING. And he did. I had told him everything. And he didn't run out the door, or pass out at my feet, or have any of the bad reactions that I had built up in my mind.

No, he did exactly what someone who loves someone else would do --- he said, "We'll figure it out. If we need to try to adopt, we will. If we want to try fertility treatments, we will. There lots of options." And he even said he would give up his possibility of hair plugs so that we could use that money for fertility treatments or adoption. What a guy! If you know my husband, then you know about his obsession with his hair or the lack there of. Giving up the possibility of hair plugs in the future is a big deal. Now that's love!!!

So, the next day, I made a follow up appointment with my doctor. I needed to figure out my next course of action. And it looked as though we needed to schedule the surgery. And then decide what medication would be needed post surgery to keep the endometriosis from getting out of control again. You know, basically, to buy myself some time.

And so, we met, we discussed and surgery it was! We needed to burn off the existing endometriosis, adhesions, lesions and scar tissue. And then, I needed to make a decision on the medication following the surgery. I could be put on a high dose birth control shot, where I would feel like I was thrown into menopause at the ripe 'ole age of 27. Or, I could take a pill, which would not be as effective and therefore, causing me to need this surgery to be repeated with a year or two.

Wow, what wonderful options! R and I discussed these options until we just couldn't discuss them anymore. We decided that neither the pill or the shot was a good option and that we would pray about it, continue with the surgery and then make a decision on a medication method after the surgery.

I liked that R was involved in the decision making. He did his own research, scouring the internet to try and read as much as possible. At this point, we were already talking about marriage and I was so glad that he was sticking around and going through this with me.

We knew that we wanted to elope. Take off, just the two of us and do it. And then, tell everybody after it was done. And that's what we did.

As far as the surgery is concerned -- it never happened. I went in to see the doctor as a pre-op measure, and found out I was pregnant. We were all stunned to say the least! God is good!

Oh and my second pregnancy . . . happened only 7 months after giving birth to my first child. I didn't have any complications with either pregnancy and both girls were born healthy.

Now . . . have I experienced a miracle or what! And I'm hoping to experience a couple more in short order. If that's what God has planned for me.

3 comments:

Megan (FriedOkra) said...

Now that is a truly miraculous story with not one but TWO happy endings and maybe still a couple more happy endings on the way. Yippeee!

At A Hen's Pace said...

Awww, what a great story--and we're so excited at the thought of more cousins!!!! Glad you're gonna go for it. You'll never regret it!

Jeanne

Anonymous said...

How thankful we are for your sweet family----two precious & darling little girls that God has blessed us all with (after all you've gone through)! Love, Pianomum