Seeing the eternal

My Dad had a heart attack a year and a half ago. It was a shock to all of us. He's the picture of perfect health. Running here and there, doing all sorts of things for everyone - the man never stopped. He barely slept. He's the kind of person that took care of others needs and never his own. Subsequently, he ended up having quadruple bypass surgery. Turns out, we've got bad genes.

Just a few weeks ago, he had a stress test and the doctor saw something on the results that he felt needed to be looked at. So, he scheduled my Dad for a heart cath.

Yesterday was the dreaded day for the heart cath. Short version -- a heart cath is a procedure doctors use to look inside and around the heart. We were definitely nervous -- it's a little risky anytime doctors stop poking around the heart of anyone with previous heart problems. What's worse was that they may find something that needed to be repaired. If so, they would pause the procedure, talk to us about it, and then take him directly into heart surgery -- which again, is pretty risky for someone with heart issues.

As we sat in the waiting room on the edge of our seats, I recalled a passage that I had read in my study just nights before:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NKJV

I'm ashamed to admit this, but in the past, I've been afraid to pray for God's will when it comes to sick family members. I've been so afraid that God's will might be to take someone from my life, that I just don't pray for it. God has been dealing with me on this issue. And when I remembered this verse, sitting in the waiting room, it was like a light bulb lit up above my head. I'm a christian. I've been a christian for most of my life. But somehow, I didn't get it until now. This body is temporary. This life he has given us is temporary. Our struggles here on this earth, though they may not seem like it, are temporary. But, the rewards are eternal for those of us who have confessed Jesus Christ as our personal savior.

Yesterday, was the first time I prayed for God's will for my Dad and his heart. I prayed God's will be done and that he give me strength to accept whatever that may be. And he did. My Dad's heart cath turned out fine. There is one bypass that they'll continue to watch and eventually, he may need an additional stint due to some build up.

Praise Jesus! Thank you Lord for the life of my Dad. Thank you Lord, that even though my time on earth with him may be temporary -- you, Lord have promised me eternity.

Preschool . . . to attend or not to attend, that is the question!

Well, a few months ago, I enrolled Maddy1 in a preschool sponsored by my Grandmother's church. She is scheduled to start attending this fall - sometime in September. She'll be 2 years old September 10th. Originally, I enrolled her because my days were extremely tough. For those of you who don't know me, let me explain . . . my husband is a pilot who is gone from our home anywhere from 15 to 19 days out of the month - I have two children under the age of 2 - we have a beach condo rental that I manage (answer email inquiries, phone inquiries, collect deposits & rent, schedule cleanings, inventory items in the unit, bookkeeping, etc) - I attend college online --- life at home is tough. I find it hard to juggle everything all of the time. I guess a lot of that "hard to juggle" attitude is because I want to be the "best" at everything. My husband will attest . . . it's hard to give me constructive criticism without me feeling bad about the job that I'm doing. However, I understand this about myself and I'm working on it.

Anyway -- preschool. Yes, I enrolled her into preschool because I thought it would definitely make things easier at home. This preschool is certified by the State of Florida as far as making sure the children are kindergarten ready. So I thought that she could benefit from learning to play with other kids and learning skills that will help her begin real school. BUT . . . here's the kicker--- I now find myself wanting to cancel her enrollment and keep her at home with me and Baby Lulu. Am I being silly? It's just, she's start to communicate so well. I've finally found my groove with the two girls and we really enjoy playing. It's such a milestone to speak to Maddy1 and see that she completely understands what I'm saying to her. It's the neatest thing. Now, I'm not saying she can hold conversations yet. In fact, my cousins son, who is one month older than Maddy1, is already counting to ten in English and Spanish. I'm lucky if I get "1,2,3!" out of Maddy1. And there's the pressure. The pressure of feeling like maybe someone else might be able to teach her more?! Maybe I'm not doing enough. Should I be sitting with her on the floor making her learn? I don't know -- I don't want to get caught up in that game of whose kid knows more. I'm happy with who she is. I don't need her to speak Spanish. I'm confident that Maddy1 is very sharp. But, she does everything in her own time and in her own way. There's no forcing her into anything. She's independent - has been since day one. That trait will be so great for her as she grows older.

So, tell me this, am I depriving her of anything by not sending her to preschool? Is it ok that she doesn't know how to count to ten?

Baby Lulu's first tooth

I can't believe it! At six and a half months of age, my Baby Lulu is cutting her first tooth. Maddy1 didn't cut any teeth until the age of 1. In fact, we started to worry and wonder if she was ever going to get any teeth. But here's Baby Lulu, ready to catch up with her sister. Everyone has asked if she has been fussy. No, not at all. In fact, I would have never known she was cutting a tooth had she not grabbed my finger, stuck it in her mouth, and bit down on it. All of the sudden, I felt something sharp digging into my finger -- it hurt! So, we say YEA for Baby Lulu!

My visit to the waterpark and more . . .

Well, where do I begin . . .

I love computers. I absolutely love the age of the internet, where with one click of a button you can know anything about anybody at anytime. However, when the computer is malfunctioning and you completely rely on that computer to complete online banking, blog posts :-), home business/accounting, picture publishing . . . you get the idea -- when that computer goes "ca put", you're left wondering how you will survive. Isn't that hilarious? I never thought that I would ever NEED a computer as much as I have grown to rely on this one. Well, anyway, I say all of that because my computer decided to get sick a few days ago. And because I'm pretty techy, I thought I could fix it myself. Well, I surrendered this morning and took it to the local computer shop. They gave it a little shock and just like new, here I am up and running again. Dear Lord, thank you for the people who have the patience to work on my computer.

Other news . . . I went to a local waterpark with my 10 year old cousin yesterday. Her mother was out of town for a couple of days with her sisters, so she wanted to stay with me and the girls. We had a great time. Junk food, facials, movies and then the waterpark. Let me say --- this year, I turned the big 30! And boy, did I feel it yesterday at the waterpark. We went on every slide in the park. There is this one, the Camacausey. It drops straight down from about . . . I don't know . . . 100 feet in the air . . . give or take a few feet?!? We climbed the endless number of steps to the top of this big platform. There are 3 slides at the top of the platform - color coded pink, green and blue. The pink slide dropped with two small humps in the middle. The green slide was sort of a tunnel with some natural light. You wind your way down through a number of curves and dips. And the blue slide -- drops straight down. People have been known to go flying off the slide --- well, not really - but it sure looked possible. I could feel my heart racing as we approached the platform. I'm not sure if that was because we climbed so many stairs or because I was deathly afraid to plummet down the blue slide. I kept thinking, I'm going to be that one freak accident --that one person who goes flying off the slide and lands on the concrete. So, anyway ---platform - oh yes. I guess my cousin could sense my fear because she leaned over to me and said, "You don't have to go down that one if you're scared." Scared? I've birthed two babies! How bad can this slide be? I convinced myself to think of it as sort of "ripping off a bandaid." It would be quick and the pain will be over before I know it. So, I looked at her and said, "Oh no! I'm not scared! I'm going on that blue slide." So, she went first (she wanted to see my face as I came down the slide!) And I climbed on the slide, crossed my legs, crossed my arms over my chest, and said a quick prayer. The teenage lifeguard standing next to the slide said, "It's not scary --- none of our rides are scary!" Then she gave me a big push. Half a second later, I'm laying at the bottom of the slide, digging my bathing suit out of my backside. I LIVED! And to tell you the truth -- it really wasn't that bad. We had a great time!

Happy 4th of July!*!*!*

The true test of faith -- praising God during the storm! So many times, I'm in a personal storm/struggle and look to God to just "lift me out". And when he doesn't respond in my time frame, I begin to wonder "Where is he? Doesn't he see me down here, knee deep in all of this? Why am I still here? Hello? God, can you hear me? Where are you?" One of the hardest lessons that God has been teaching me is walking by faith. When I can't see him and can barely hear him -- I must keep walking. My pastor said it best when he told us one Sunday morning, "Don't doubt in the dark what God has told you in the light."

This is one of my most FAVORITE songs, set to video. It's a must see & hear :-)

On this Independence Day:
To our soldiers . . . we love you and we are praying for you! Thank you for keeping us safe!

May God Bless America!

"When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever." Proverbs 10:25 NIV

It's great to be home again!

I'm home! I went to Savannah and had a wonderful time. It was quite a drive to make alone. Teena's house was so beautiful. It was so nicely decorated. We've been in our house for almost a year and still don't have everything unpacked. Our walls are still a little bare (in my opinion). But not Teena's house! The place was like a showcase. I'll post some pictures of the two of us so that you can put a face with the name. We had a weekend of power shopping - it was literally "shop til we dropped!" I have not shopped like that since before having the 2 girls - so I'd forgotten to wear comfortable shoes. Shopping marathons have no place for cute strappies. We didn't really buy that much -- but we had a great time looking! And moms, you'll relate to this . . . I was actually able to eat a hot meal! It was WONDERFUL. Teena chauffeured me around --- we ate, we shopped, we got pedicures, we did our own facials --- the best time I've had in a long time. Total girl time!!! So, Teena, if you're reading this -- THANK YOU! And next, the party is at my place :-)

Oh - and I bet you're wondering about the girls. Well, I arrived to find the girls, well fed, rested and perfectly fine. Actually, they seemed quite content with Daddy. But wait - there's more! The house was spotless -- really! And the pile of laundry --- completely done and put away. My husband was supermom for the weekend.

Yes, I do realize just how blessed I am --- a wonderful husband and a wonderful friend. God is so good!

Update . . . here are the pics I promised!

Control Freak? - Guilty as charged

Well, I'm so excited. I'm leaving this Friday, driving to Savannah, Georgia to visit my best friend, Teena. She and her husband moved there a few months ago. I've missed her so much and it will be so good to see her and her new house. This will be my first get-a-way alone since having the two children. Everyone has asked me . . . "do you think you will worry about them the whole time?" Well, if you can believe it, I've already began to worry. Let me explain . . . I'm not worried about their well being. I know that my husband and my mother are perfectly capable of caring for them. But, I guess what is worrying me is that no one will take care of them the way that I do. I know . . . crazy, huh? What a silly thing to worry about. But, I do. And I shouldn't! Most people who know me seem to think I have a small, extremely tiny issue with control. Ok . . . maybe I'm not being totally truthful here . . . I may or may not have been described as a "control freak". Teena (best friend), please feel free not to comment as I am referencing you as one of those people who may or may not have called me that!

My control issues extend far past my children. I'm not sure when or how I picked up this nasty habit. For example: I must put the toilet paper roll on the holder the same way every time. I actually tried changing it up once (my husband likes the roll to face the opposite direction of the way I put it on there), but I found myself coming back in there not two minutes later to change it back. Folding towels . . . simple enough, right? Well, only if the tags are tucked inside the fold and the embroidery is facing out. I even find myself going into the linen closet after my husband has folded towels -- and I refold them. Not in front of him, because I don't want him to think that I don't appreciate his work. But to my strange eyes, it looks like it needs to be done. Don't worry, I don't force this silliness onto him. If you he puts the toilet paper roll on the holder, I don't correct him. My mother has commented that I really just end up making more work for myself most of the time. And I would have to say that's probably true. But I'm not always strong enough to stop the urges.

Anyway, I tell you all of this because it is one of the stumbling blocks in my life. Many times, God has brought me to places where I had no control whatsoever. And it just about drove me crazy. But through those situations, I learned to trust him. And when I surrendered and let God lead, he brought me out safe and sound on the other side. Can you believe it . . . he didn't need my help! So, I'm not a control freak all of the time. And I'm praying about it. Praying that the Lord will help me to remember to surrender to him and his will. And that rather than worrying myself with these trivial things like someone taking care of my children the exact way that I would -- I need to be thankful that I have a husband and mother who love those children so very much. And be thankful that they are willing to care for them so that I may go away for a weekend to see my very best friend!

Thank you Lord for reminding me that you are in control.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6&7 NIV